Posted by: Admin | August 25, 2016

Top 5 Benefits of Blogging for your Small Business:

1.Helps establish credibility and you can show off your expertise and knowledge
2.Promote yourself or your business, product or service – build brand awareness
3.Build a platform & a following – sharing your blog posts on social media gives people a reason to follow you
4.Share opinions, how-to, reviews, advice – help solve peoples’ problems
5.Search Engine Optimization (SEO) – it’s the fresh content that Google is looking for
6.Drive traffic to your website which in turn helps build your email list and
generate qualified leads

Posted by: Admin | June 3, 2016

Bullying in Your Workplace?

Simply put BULLYING is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort.  Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle actions.

There are many places that bullying can take place.  Bullying can take place in schools, playgrounds, workplace, neighborhoods, gyms and on the internet (cyber).

All organizations should have some form of written policy of respect.  However, it is those that we entrust to teach, inform, and uphold those policies.  A lot of the time that is where the failure happens.

There are times when there are no policies, HR personnel or management to be the enforcer of those rules.  This is where we hope that common sense, integrity, and a level of maturity will support decisions made by those who are involved.  We now that this is not always the case.  We see too many violent results from those who bully to whom those actions are directed at.

Bullying in the workplace can have many negative results such as:  employee turnover, lawsuits, absenteeism and overall bad attitudes.

In the workplace you must rely on those who can find the underlying problems and address them as soon as possible.  It may be with a group meeting, one-on-one meeting or simply separating those involved.  The problem must be confronted and dealt with as soon as possible for positive results.

 

Posted by: Admin | May 27, 2016

Memorial Day

Most people on this day spend time with traveling, parties, cooking out with friends and family.  It is a day to honor those who have served and sacrificed in protecting our great NATION now and in the past.

Back in 2000 a resolution was passed that asks Americans to “voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of Remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or by listening to taps.”

So many of our military have sacrificed their lives and their way of life in support of our freedom.  Our FREEDOM is something that is challenged every day.  Let’s give thanks to the families of those who are picking up the every day duties of life while they are serving.  Let’s all be the best support system we can be to our military partners.

 

 

Donald Trump has grown an empire of wealth and power, but is it enough? He admits that it isn’t the money that motivates him. (The Art of the Deal, 1987) What drives narcissists are their fears of feeling weak, vulnerable, or inferior. Consequently, for male narcissists in particular, achieving  power is their highest value – at any cost. Trump is “certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred.” (Trump on Trump)

There is great disparity between what narcissists show the world and what goes on inside. Despite their big egos, they’re frightened and fragile – just the opposite of their grandiose, powerful façade. They must work hard to keep up their image, not only for others, but for themselves. In fact, their immodesty and exaggerated self-importance are commensurate with their hidden shame. “Me thinks you protest too much,” defines them. Shame is paradoxical in that it hides behind false pride. Its defenses of arrogance and contempt, envy and aggression, and denial and projection all serve to inflate and compensate for a weak, immature self. Like all bullies, the greater their defensive aggression, the greater is their insecurity.

Shame fuels their needs for admiration, attention, and respect. “If I get my name in the paper, if people pay attention, that’s what matters.” (Donald Trump: Master Apprentice, 2005) Trump wants “total recognition” as when “Nigerians on the street corners who don’t speak a word of English, say, ‘Trump! Trump!’” (New Yorker, May 19, 1997) Praise and success never fill a narcissist’s inner emptiness, nor compensate for deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. Despite being the topic of countless headlines and magazine covers, he complained to Scott Pelly in his 60-minute interview that his business doesn’t get enough respect.

To gain recognition and validation of their worth, narcissists brag and exaggerate the truth. They imagine themselves to be more special – more desirable, more intelligent, more powerful, more invincible – than others. “Some people would say I’m very, very, very intelligent.” (Fortune, April 3, 2000) “My I.Q. is one of the highest!” (Twitter, May 8, 2013) “All the women on The Apprentice flirted with me — consciously or unconsciously.” (How to Get Rich, 2004) “It’s very hard for them to attack me on looks, because I’m so good looking.” (NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Aug. 9, 2015) Trump announced his grandiose, unrealistic ambitions to Scott Pelly to force businesses to close foreign plants, to compel the Chinese to devalue their currency, and to build a cheap, impenetrable wall paid for by Mexico. (Estimates are $28 billion a year.)

It’s all or nothing with narcissists. For Donald Trump, there are winners, like himself (TrumpNation: The Art of Being The Donald, 2005), and losers, and he “doesn’t like to lose.” (New York Times, Aug. 7, 1983) “Show me someone without an ego, and I’ll show you a loser.” (Facebook, Dec. 9, 2013) Trump must stay on top and thrives on the challenge. “You learn that you’re either the toughest, meanest piece of shit in the world or you just crawl into a corner . . . Guys that I thought were tough were nothin’.” (New York magazine, Aug. 15, 1994) Losing, failing, being second aren’t options. “Life to me is a psychological game, a series of challenges you either meet or don’t (Playboy, March 1990). He “lies awake at night and thinks and plots.” (New York magazine, Nov. 9, 1992) These high stakes make for vicious competitiveness, where offense is the best defense. “Sometimes, part of making a deal is denigrating your competition.” (The Art of the Deal, 1987)

Narcissists have a “my way or the highway” attitude” and don’t like to hear “No.” Others’ limits make them feel powerless as they did as a child, which is very frightening. They can throw a childlike tantrum when others don’t comply. When their imagined omnipotence and control is challenged, they manipulate to get what they want and may punish you or make you feel guilty for turning them down. (Lancer, Dealing with a Narcissist: 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People)

 

By projecting their aggression outward, the world appears hostile and dangerous. “The world is a pretty vicious place.” (Esquire, January 2004) People who are seen “as out for themselves,” (Playboy, March 1990), become adversaries to defeat or control. To keep safe, they push others away, fending off threats and humiliation, and they do so aggressively. Women “are far worse than men, far more aggressive … ” (The Art of the Comeback, 1997) “You have to treat ’em like shit.” (New York magazine, Nov. 9, 1992)  Nevertheless, narcissists are exquisitely sensitive to any sign of disrespect or imagined slight that threatens their self-concept. When Trump says, “The rich have a very low threshold for pain.” (New York magazine, Feb. 11, 1985), he includes himself.

Trump learned to attack from his father, who “taught me to keep my guard up.” (Esquire, January 2004) When attacked, narcissists retaliate to reverse feelings of humiliation and restores their pride. “If someone screws you, screw them back. When somebody hurts you, just go after them as viciously and as violently as you can.” (How to Get Rich, 2004) “If somebody tries to push me around, he’s going to pay a price. Those people don’t come back for seconds. I don’t like being pushed around or taken advantage of.” (Playboy, March 1990)

He told Scott Pelly that his father was “a tough cookie” – a strict, “no-nonsense kind of guy.” (Playboy, March 1990) There are many ways parents can shame their children and instill the belief that they’re not worthy of love. Scolding feelings and needs or emphasizing high expectations convey conditional, tough love, which makes a child feel unaccepted for who they are. Sadly, the implication is that without success (or for a female narcissist, often beauty), no one would care about me. “Let’s say I was worth $10. People would say, ‘Who the [expletive] are you?’” (Washington Post, July 12, 2015) Instead, they must earn their parents’ acceptance. Ted Levine, Trump’s high school roommate, described the kind of pressure to excel that the boys were under. “He had to be better than his father. We were sent here to be the best of the best, and we knew what our job was.”

To compensate for insecurity and shame, narcissists feel superior, often expressed with disdain or contempt, captured in the scornful, smirk and curled lip shown in the photo. Arrogance and putdowns bolster their egos by projecting the devalued parts of themselves onto others. Trump has disparagingly and publicly labeled various people a “dog,” “bimbo,” “dummy,”  “grotesque,” “losers,” or “morons.” Narcissists’ invectives are made worse by their lack of empathy, which enables them to see people as two-dimensional objects to meet their needs. “It really doesn’t matter what they write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” (Esquire, 1991) Objectifying others demonstrates how insensitively they were treated growing up.

Not the quarry, but the chase; not the trophy, but the race” inspires Trump. “The same assets that excite me in the chase, often, once they are acquired, leave me bored. For me . . . the important thing is the getting, not the having.” (Surviving at the Top, 1990) Conquest and winning reaffirm a narcissist’s power. “It’s all in the hunt and once you get it, it loses some of its energy. I think competitive, successful men feel that way about women.” (TrumpNation: The Art of Being The Donald, 2005) Victory also bolsters unexpressed feelings of insufficiency. Trump so hinted, saying, “Oftentimes when I was sleeping with one of the top women in the world I would say to myself, thinking about me as a boy from Queens, ‘Can you believe what I am getting?’” (Think Big: Make it Happen in Business and Life, 2008)

However, power and love don’t easily coexist. “Intimacy requires vulnerability, letting down one’s guard and being authentic to get close emotionally – all signs of weakness that are frightening and abhorrent to a narcissist. Rather than give up power and control, which risk exposure of their false persona, many narcissists have short relationships or are distancers when more than sex is anticipated.” (Lancer, Dealing with a Narcissist: 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People.)

Love relationships are about connecting – something herculean for a narcissist. “For me, business comes easier than relationships.” (Esquire, January 2004) “I’m married to my business. It’s been a marriage of love. So, for a woman, frankly, it’s not easy in terms of relationships.” (New York magazine, Dec. 13, 2004) “I was bored when she (Marla) was walking down the aisle. I kept thinking: What the hell am I doing here? I was so deep into my business stuff. I couldn’t think of anything else.” (TrumpNation: The Art of Being The Donald, 2005)

Posted on Find-a-Therapist by Darlene Lancer in 2015

Posted by: Admin | May 19, 2016

Depression Can Run In The Family

Studies show that 25% of the kids who have a parent who has suffered from clinical depression will experience their own episode, says Dr. Frassler a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Vermont.  If both Mom and Dad are depressed, the risk increases to around 75%.  Scientists aren’t exactly sure of the reason for this, but one theory posits that these kids have a genetic vulnerability, which is the exacerbated by a stressful environment.  That said, keep in mind that genes aren’t destiny, even when there’s depression in the family.

Posted by: Admin | May 6, 2016

What is Percocet?

Percocet is the brand name of a prescription medication that contains oxycodone and acetaminophen.  Oxycodone is a semisynthetic opioid that is also marketed as the prescription painkiller OxyContin.  Acetaminophen is an analgesic that reduces fever and is present in many over-the counter medications.  The combination of oxycodone and acetaminophen allows Percocet to treat moderate to severe pain.  When a person takes Percocet, the oxycodone interacts with receptors in the central nervous system to alleviate pain and elicits a sense of relaxed euphoria.  Oxycodone can suppress the heart rate and respiration, and is also highly addictive, while the misuse or abuse of acetaminophen can lead to liver failure.However, with effective comprehensive care, individuals can overcome their compulsion to abuse and can live healthier drug-free lives.

Posted by: Admin | May 3, 2016

Bullying

Bullying is the assertion of power through aggression.  The forms change with age: school playground bullying, verbal taunts, put-downs, exclusion from the peer group, sexual harassment, gang attacks, date violence, assault, marital violence.  Bullying is a conscious, willful, deliberate, hostile and repeated behavior by one or more people, which is intended to harm others.

Posted by: Admin | April 25, 2016

Depression

It is a myth that depression is part of the aging process.  Depression is a medical illness.  Watch for complaints of aches and pains, inability to concentrate, mood swings, talk of worthlessness, frequent doctor visits without relief, and possibly alcoholism.  Mental health specialists can help detect depression.  Family physicians can help provide treatment or provide referrals.

Posted by: Admin | April 14, 2016

Find-a-Therapist

Finding a therapist to help you should not be a difficult process. Are you willing to invest some time to find the right one for you?

There are many counselors, social workers, art therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists and others who are trained and licensed in the field of mental health throughout the world.

Where do I start my search?  Here are some things to consider when using the internet to search for a mental health provider.  You can use a Directory which therapists use to advertise their services.  There are many good ones to choose from.  Start the search finding a therapist near where you live.  You can do this through a Directory or by doing a general Google search.  A Directory will present the therapist profile in a readable summary.   Using some specific information will help narrow down your search.  You can enter your city, town or zip code.  If you live in a rural area you will need to enter a larger area that is close to you.  Decide whether you would be more comfortable with a male or female therapist.  Some will take insurances and some don’t.  They may be able offer a sliding scale. You may have to come out and ask this question if not offered.   This may make it more affordable for their services.  Determine what issue or feelings that you are struggling with.  We often don’t realize why we are struggling with such basic life activities.  Sometimes a mental health “checkup” is needed.  Visit the therapist website for more information about their location, office hours, services provided, insurances accepted or not, how many years of experience and are they licensed in their state.  Finally, make a phone call to ask them some specific questions about their services and availability.  Do a type of “interview” to see if they are the right fit for you.  It is best for you to do the search than a family member.  You know more about what you are looking for in a therapist.

Finally, be patient and polite.

 

 

Posted by: Admin | February 18, 2016

What to do with an aging parent?

When one or both of our parents age and need more care, who will do it?

There are options in this decision.  First, have any financial preparations been made for additional or long-term care by your parents?  If they are like most, retirement funds and social security are limited.  nowadays, there are care facilities that reach to each end of the scale.  Some, are very nice and  very expensive.  Their health and safety is so important.  There are some facilities that are more affordable but just don’t seem the right place for your parent. There is guilt when moving them out of their home to some place that is unknown.

Second, more and more children are moving their parents into their home for daily care.  There are limits to this scenario too.  Your life will not be the same.  You seem to spend every moment around their needs.  Your life as you once knew it, is no longer that, your life.

Third, hire someone to come into their home or your home to help out.  They can run errands with them, play games or do light cleaning.  The question is how do you find someone who is reliable, honest and a good fit as a companion.  It may take several trials and many different agencies.  They may even need this service if they are in an Assisted Living Facility.  This price would be added on top of that monthly rental fee.  It boils down to COST.  That is what every family ultimately thinks about.  The decision and leg work is usually left up to the siblings.

Finally, when you are looking forward to retirement, you may find that your responsibilities grow with the care of your parent or parents.  Unless, there have been provisions made or even discussed before the time comes.  It will take time, family discussions and money to provide the right setting for your parent or parents as they age.

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